Words are not enough

Words cannot begin to describe the flood of emotions I have felt since finding out Niles passed away on Christmas morning.  I am heartbroken, sad, and physically ill when I think of the journey that lies ahead for Tiffany, Carter, and their families.  I can never begin to understand why a 31-year-old man would be taken from the Earth so young, why his wife is without her partner, and why his son will never know what an outstanding human his dad was.

My favorite memory of Niles is from a few years ago, when my first-born pup Wrigley was ill.  His back went out and he had a herniated disk.  His back legs did not work, and we had to make a decision to put him down or try an expensive surgery.  As I talked with Niles on the phone, we discussed all of the options.  I then asked Niles, "If he were your dog, what would you do?"  Tiffany told me afterward that Niles never answers this question, but he actually did in this instance for me.  His thoughts were Wrigley was still young and had lots of life left in him.  Although the surgery was expensive, he would have it done.  I so appreciated Niles' understanding that I needed that direction, not from a doctor's view, but from a friend's view.  Niles arranged for Wrigley to be seen by a neurosurgeon, and he regained full use of his legs and back, and is still doing very well today.

I appreciated Niles for his dry sense of humor and witty responses.  I also appreciated him for enjoying good beer and time in the mountains of Colorado.  :)

Oktoberfest 2010

Although things don't always make sense, I know God is in control and I have to remember everything happens for a reason.  All I can do to try and make sense of things is use this experience as a reminder of how we are not guaranteed anything in life - not tonight, or tomorrow, or next year year.  To live life to its fullest and take every opportunity you are given.  This is my New Year's Resolution: to remember Niles every day, to pray for Tiffany and Carter every day, and to appreciate all this life has to offer - every single moment of every single day.