Looking for meaning

I like to think that everything happens for a reason.

Before my accident on Tuesday of last week, I was in the best shape of my life. Weighed the same amount I did as a junior in high school. Was having my best mountain bike season since moving to Colorado, and was feeling fit and energized! I had just returned from a 3 week break from training while in IL visiting family and baptizing our daughter, and was getting back in shape for the 2nd part of the local race series. I have to admit, I was feeling better than I have felt in a while! Skinny and strong and ready to compete in the expert category for the rest of the series!

That all came crashing down around me towards the end of a 4 hour ride when I hit I know not what, had the handlebars ripped from my hands and landed on my face skidding to a stop. Alone, on a dirt road, and no clue what had happened, I was just trying to figure out what to do next. How to get help.

Why do these things happen? Why did this happen? Why, when everything was going so good?

I have spent many days sitting at home thinking, reflecting, wondering what the meaning is.

I've come up with this:

My life was out of balance.... Sure I was in amazing shape, sure I was feeling amazing, but other things were out of balance. I am not sure I was spending too much time training, as much as I was just too focused on my own personal goals, and not enough so on those around me, and enjoying life around me.

Out of balance

Colorado means to me.... fly fishing, hiking, backpacking, snowboarding, skiing, exploring, long scenic drives, wonderful summertime temps, picnics, bike rides, craft beers and local breweries,  I'm sure there are more. But when it came down to it and I have had any chances to do anything, I have always chosen the bike. It's been a constant struggle ever since I started riding and has a lot to do with my competitiveness and wanting to be the best that I can be, but I've always had trouble balancing training with focusing on family and other activities. I have to continue to remember that I am not a professional cyclist, and I don't get paid to ride and race, and that it may be ok sometimes to skip a planned ride to do something else enjoyable.

This crash has effectively ended my season. I have competed in 1 race, along with 2 short track races early in the season. Tomorrow I have surgery to repair my cheekbone in Vail. The doctor has recommended I don't ride a bike for a month after to give everything time to heal. This will give me the next couple of months to focus my energy on my wife and family. To try some other activities such as fly fishing that I have been missing so much. I would love to take Cayle fishing! I want to get some nice hikes in sometime soon. I want to get more involved with life....

I cannot thank my wife enough for caring for me and picking up the slack while I have been recovering. But hopefully I can spend the next couple of months before school begins trying to make it up to her.

I know I will be anxious to get back on the bike, and begin riding again in a month or so, but in the meantime I will enjoy my time off to the max.


Time to get some balance back in my life. Time to focus on the things that are really important. Time to focus on finding a balance.

4th of July

This was the first year I thought Cayle might really enjoy the annual Eagle Bike Parade held at 815 am on July 4th.  Since we have never participated in the parade I wasn't sure what to expect, but I did know from pictures that I've seen that people decorate their bikes.  So, I picked Cayle up from Mack's house (he had spent the night since I was up at the hospital late the night before) about 730 am, headed over to pick up Jess (I think she agreed to this mostly out of pity), and then drove us over to the starting point for the parade.  The parade started a little late but was well worth the wait.  Cayle was in complete awe of all of the people on bikes!  Once we arrived at the town park at the end of the parade, we were greeted by a red/white/blue decorated park, with cookies, drinks, and lots of games for the kids.  We didn't stay too long at the park because I had to head up to the hospital to get Nick, but Cayle loved the time we spent at the park!

Note to self for next year:  park the car at the park, not the place where the parade starts!

jess and cayle decorating cayle's bike

cayle with his decorated bike and unaware of the flag in his helmet

starting the parade, clearly not at then end of the participants

now the last parade participant, just dilly dallying!

happy 4th from lindy

red cookies at the park party

bikes, people, and patriotic colors in the park

bikes, people, and patriotic colors in the park

bikes, people, and patriotic colors in the park

Crash. Rock. Mess.

I got a phone call on Tuesday that I always fear...Nick calling me from his bike ride telling me he's been in an accident.  The kids and I were at City Market when the call came in - getting groceries for a 4th of July party that was not to be.  Nick's voice sounded weak and shaky, and I tried to keep him calm and focused.  He had already contacted a friend to come pick him up.  While we were on the phone, a BLM worker happened upon him and I was able to get a better idea of Nick's injuries.  By the time the BLM worker (Everette) got Nick down off the mountain and James (the friend) retrieved Nick's bike and belongings, I had headed back to Gypsum, gathered a few necessities, dropped Cayle off at Mack's house, and headed back to Eagle.  Everette brought Nick to me at the I-70 entrance ramp so that I could transport him to the ER.  We spent many hours in the ER (9+) before the following was determined:  Nick needed 46 stitches to mend his large cuts (44 of them on his face), he had three broken facial bones (1 of which will require surgery), there were countless cuts, scrapes, and bruises over Nick's entire body, his left shoulder and elbow were badly bruised (possibly broken), and there were no head injuries.  Nick ended up spending the night at the hospital and was able to come home the next day.

Cayle and Lindy were waiting here at the house for us to get home.  Cayle was being entertained by Mark and Mary.  Lindy was obviously oblivious!  Rob was also on-hand to help Nick move from the car to the make-shift bed I had set up for him on the couch.  We had talked about how Cayle might respond to seeing Nick, and hoped we would be able to calm any fears he had.  Cayle stared at Nick for long periods of time and he kept repeating the same words - crash (pause), rock (pause), mess (pause).  Cayle doesn't speak in sentences and has really just started putting words together, even though he has a huge vocabulary, but his few words spoke volumes about what he understood.  Yes, daddy had a crash.  He hit a rock.  And his face was a terrible mess!

just before being discharged

Although this bike wreck put a major wrench in the rest of our summer plans, we have so much to be thankful for.  We have been blessed with prayers, positive thoughts, offers of help, and lots of support from friends and family both near and far.  The night of the accident, Nick and I were chatting in the ER.  He reminded me everything happens for a reason :)    

Juicing

For Father's day Natalie got me a juicer!!! Why? I want to start drinking Beet Juice!!! and not sure you can find it in the store... Why beet juice?

Apparently it is full of Nitrates, which are also available as a synthetic supplement for body builders and endurance athletes. Being as healthy as possible if there is a way to improve performance naturally, I want to try it out. In almost every study conducted, endurance athletes that drank beet juice a couple of times a week improved performances dramatically! (15% or greater improvements!!!) That is quite a bit! So to improve taste, I will mix with apples and carrots, and hope for the best....

the juicer filled with my first juice: apples, strawberries, black berries, peaches

first juice!

Greatest TV time of the year!

The Tour has begun! My favorite T.V. watching time of the year! For me, the only thing that comes even close is the NCAA basketball tourney. Probably helps that we are off school, so I can spend the mornings watching the race while having coffee and relaxing.

It was so much fun explaining the finer points of the jerseys with Cayle. For those of you that don't know, and prolly don't really care... White is for the best young rider (best place overall rider under the age of 26), Polka dots are for the King of the Mountain, green is for the best sprinter, and yellow is for the best place overall rider.

I also explained to Cayle how we were born in the wrong country...(maybe we should have been born in Belgium...) Just sayin...Favorite things in Belgium are beer, soccer, and cycling! 3 of my favorite things! At this point for Cayle the only thing that really applies is cycling, and maybe someday soon, soccer, but the other should wait a while!

Absence and Swimming

Maybe you have noticed, but Natalie has been doing all the blogging (much to the satisfaction of some of you...) I attribute this to the fact that I had to turn in my computer since I am not returning to school next year. Meaning we now only have 2 computers in the house... a little used desktop and Natalie's laptop (along with the Ipad...) I have mainly been using the Ipad, and don't like to blog on there, due to difficulty of using the keyboard. I understand this is just an excuse, but for the moment, it's my best one!

"Diving"

We are well into summer break at this point, and now that we have been a week back from IL (almost) are kind of settling into some routines. It's super nice! Natalie has mentioned how much Cayle has been playing in his pool everday. But I really don't think you could understand unless you see it. Literally, from the moment the sun is up till it's time to go to bed, he is playing in the pool! Provided we are home and he is awake of course. He absolutely loves being in the water! The most hilarious thing is watching him "dive" where he falls into the pool face first.

Triathlon

Back in the summer of 2009, I participated in a number of triathlons/duathlons.  I find these races to be a challenge because I don't excel at swimming, biking, or running, but I can accomplish all of them.  My challenge is to do better in each discipline at each race I enter.  So I'm always comparing my achievement to myself, not others.  Shortly after my last triathlon in 2009, I became pregnant with Cayle.  Then, I spent the summer of 2010 recovering from my c-section and didn't get back in to the races.  Last summer I didn't train for any races (not sure why??). 

Lindy was born April 16, and Dr Kohn cleared me to begin exercise May 30.  I, however (shockingly), had other plans.  I started working out (cautiously) May 16.  In the past, I've always made good progress working out with the "30 day shred" by Jillian Michaels.  So I started that tape May 16.  Then while we were on our trip to Illinois, I added some running (and a few disastrous bike rides) to the mix.  The running went well in Illinois, but not so good here in the mountains at altitude.  I'll have to keep working on that :)

Sometimes when you have lots of unstructured time on your hands, you make some crazy decisions.  I did that exact thing today by signing up for a triathlon to complete yet this year.  I'll be doing a triathlon that I've done before (in Highlands Ranch) in August.  So until then, I'll be swimming, running, and biking as much as I can.  My goal for this upcoming race is to beat my times from the previous time I competed in this race.

You're welcome to join me in that race :)